Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize