Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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