I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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