Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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