You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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