I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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