sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
