Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
