So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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