I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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