Apparently you make a good broom.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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