Sponge bath it is.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
