You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
