She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm at about main and main street
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
