Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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