Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
