Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
