Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
