now i know why i became what i already was.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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