when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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