Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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