You're so nebulous sometimes
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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