well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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