ADVERTISEMENT

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.

  Fav 22 903 3302

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.

  Fav 32 1301 5309

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was

  Fav 58 17389 2471

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.

  Fav 10 5309 1943

  share tweet
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.

  Fav 9 3913 1385

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

  Fav 9 4116 1403

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (347): View more from New York

  I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

  Fav 3 1139 2310

  share tweet
  

• (815): View more from Illinois

  I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

  Fav 10 1000 1433

  share tweet
  

• (516): View more from New York

  There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?

  Fav 3 864 1501

  share tweet
  

• (770): View more from Georgia

  Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...

  Fav 6 1200 640

  share tweet
  

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.

  Fav 10 1076 579

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (404): View more from Georgia

  New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.

  Fav 3 889 545

  share tweet
  

• (469): View more from Texas

  words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"

  Fav 3 542 697

  share tweet
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response

  Fav 0 54 1

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (760): View more from California

  Dude what happened last night?

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.

  Fav 0 55 12

  share tweet
  

Randomize