He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
