apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
try to milk me bitch
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
