dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
