i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
