Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
