so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
