i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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