You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
