I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think people are normalizing furries
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
