apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Randomize
