god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
