also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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