reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
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Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i think my cat just said my name.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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