he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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