I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you inspire me to be a worse person
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
So here I am, sexting at work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
