just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
