I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
