I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
