just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
