Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize