I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
