i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
