Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
