woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
