Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today

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(443): View more from Maryland

The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"

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(307): View more from Wyoming

if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.

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(702): View more from Nevada

no you cant smoke seaweed

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(303): View more from Colorado

But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.

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(313): View more from Michigan

The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?

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(757): View more from Virginia

We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.

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(303): View more from Colorado

And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"

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