I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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