I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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