once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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