I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize