I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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