But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
