Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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