Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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