you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
