just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
