I only kidnapped one of them. chill
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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