i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
