Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
