i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
